Oh, But I AM Doubting

In my mind I'd replay our conversations over and over till they'd be like hallucination...
Does that mean I'm crazy? Or does it mean I'm trying to glean something to be hopeful about? What if I just need to hear a voice in there that isn't mine? Where are these questions coming from? Why are they so important?
If I could go back, do it again I'd be someone you could call friend. Please, please believe that I'm sorry...
What is it I did wrong? How am I supposed to fix it? Are we still friends? Or are we complacent and just being civil? Am I really sorry? Or am I sad that things are failing to work out? Do you think I'm your friend? Where are the answers? Why can't I find any answers?
Slipping through my fingers, like the sands of time. Feelings unfold, they will never be sold and the secret is safe with me...
Where have you gone? Did I go to? Will I ever go, for real? Why don't I understand how I feel today? Am I going to cry? Ever again? Can you be trusted? Can I? Do I tell my secrets? Are they already known? Why do I keep asking things? Why am I getting nowhere?
There was a time you let me know what's real and going on below but now you never show it to me do you...
Are you telling me the truth. Am I twisting lies out of everything? Will I ever be told what's going on? Do people hate me for having to explain so often? Why am I so scared of not knowing? Why can I not stop questioning everyone?
Once Upon a Midnight Dreary While I Pondered, Weak and Weary...
Why do I feel so out of place, out of time? Where has all my spirit gone? Am I sick? Am I done with myself? Is it too late late to give up on the world? Or has the world given up on me and I just haven't noticed?

Stop asking me! Get out of my head! Let me rest, recover, SURVIVE!