It seems truly odd to me that I am growing up and so are the people around me. I wake up some mornings, go have a shower and while I'm being deliciously pounded by steaming water (and wasting it all...bad Amy!) I have these odd thoughts. I'll have a discussion with myselves and it usually goes a little like this:
Amy: Alright, one of you guys can pretend to be DJ. She isn't here and I want to chat!
Voice/DJ: ME! Pick me!
A: All right, I pick you. Isn't it strange that I woke up this morning and what I was thinking was I won't remember you in three years?
V/DJ: Hmmm...Almost as strange as you holding a conversation with an invisible friend while you're naked o.O
(Honest to God, this is how it goes...I'm so lame)
A: Well yeah, that too but what I mean is; isn't it odd that my first thought upon waking is that I'm going to graduate and forget all of my highschool friends by the time I'm out of uni?
V/DJ: Except Ben of course. You promised to have his gay, ranga children. But don't say that, don't even think it. We really musn't mean that much to you if you think that about us!
A: Yeah, except Ben. Why do you always get so angry and defensive when I say that? I love you, of course I do. You mean the world to me but I know that eventually you won't. We'll grow up and move on. I'm going to uni, you're going to marry P!nk and Ben's going to join the R.A.A.F until I bitchslap him and make him come home. I'm sick of my friends getting shot.
V/DJ: Don't change the subject. Stop avoiding me, it's really because you just don't care about us.
A: I don't care? Really, I don't CARE? Who took you-know-who in for a pregnancy test? Who is in charge of tickling the fat-believers? Who posts on Ben's page reminding him he is loved? Which one of us is MUM? Who does PaigeBaby belong to? Who gets Riley to talk? It couldn't possibly be that chick who DOESN'T CARE.
V/DJ: Grrr, you're so annoying. That isn't even what I meant. Stop being such a brat.
A: Then say what you mean and mean what you say.
V/DJ: You don't care about making sure you remember us or even trying to stay in touch. It's like you don't want to be our friends.
A: That's right DJ/Voice, because I am a grown up.
(This is usually the point where I tell the DJ/Voice to fuck off and get out of the shower, I'm naked. Then someone knocks on the door and tells me to shut up o.O)
My point with DJ is that it is inevitibly going to happen. People move on and grow old. We don't stick together and that isn't a bad thing. It's a part of becoming an adult. There is always a time and place for highschool friends but unless I've made the plans, I won't know you in three years. I'll be busy with my job, a boyfriend, classes, the apartment, this dog I'll probably get, changing tyres on my car (I just changed my first one about a week ago, I was SO PROUD!), shopping, cooking, baby-sitting and of course, having arguments with newly aquired friends in the shower.
I don't really want to lose my high school friends because they do mean something to me. They mean a whole fucking lot and they always have. I am merely resigned to the fact and aware that it IS going to happen. Accept. Get over. Live through it. Live in spite of it.
Terreur xxx
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