25 October, 2012

I found God...

I'm mad. I thought that finally, I had my friend back and that he would be there. We stayed up past 3am just talking to be each other, spending time enjoying the company of another person and I gave him so much time. I listened while he vented and tried to be helpful until I became too worn down. And do you know what he promised me? That he would be there when it as my turn. I laughed it off and told him it doesn't do to dwell. Some of the things I feel are not pretty, are not for dragging out into the daylight. And then I changed my mind. It's worth feeling the pain to know that someone knows and can care about how hurt you are. So I slowly let on that maybe I was ready to talk. And he wasn't there. So it began to get worse. Even when I told him straight up that I needed him and I needed his support, he wasn't there. I was so happy to have my friend back because it is unbelievable just how much I had missed him without realising. Now it has turned sour. Where were you when I needed you? Why didn't you listen when I told you I needed the help? We went in circles, telling the same tales about your aches and I went deeper and deeper into the dark place because if no one listened then I was supposed to have you. Only I didn't have you so where was I supposed to go from there? Why did you lie to me?

No comments:

Post a Comment