Down The Rabbit Hole

Down The Rabbit Hole
I am curled around Jorba under an olive tree. We are in a meadow and dawn is breaking. I get up to chase butterflies, leaving my baby rabbit asleep and dreaming. I run after the captivating insects without tiring. They lead me to a sparse forest that I don’t take notice of along a forked road. Neither of the paths has been traversed and the trees have leaves that are black. The brightly coloured creatures split and stream down the paths and I continue to run, ignoring the world around me. The butterflies burst up and out of the trees, leaving me alone. The ground is cold but I am not and sunlight filters down through the trees in large chunks. I walk further down the path, watching mushrooms that look more like bread rolls grow behind me as I step. A river appears between two distant trees and stretches down to where I am. Diving in, I am pulled under by a net and recline along the river bottom. I sit and talk with shells about kleptomania. The current pulls me away and down the side of a waterfall. I fall ridiculously slowly but am unable to do anything about it. Behind the waterfall are shelves of the most random things. I reach out and pull some down with me. Crashing at the bottom of the pool, I clutch tightly onto them. On the river bank, I spread them out to dry and to look at what they are. There is a yearbook of people I don’t know but recognise. All the names have been cut out. There is a watch that doesn’t work. The name engraved on the inside is Amelia Sullen. A packet of lavender seeds has gotten wet and is growing before my eyes. I throw it away from me and the lavender attaches itself to the bottom of a tree, climbing and snaking its way up and around the trunk, becoming an oak/lavender hybrid. Last, there is a completely dry fruitcake. A piglet with a top hat beckons me to him and asks for the cake. He walks away with it and I follow him further into the forest. We encounter a small Dalmatian puppy and I carry the pig when he faints. Further in, I spot a castle. The highest tower is level with the tree tops and I feel very small. A woman in white walks me in and offers me a drink. The wine she holds out smells sickly sweet and is the colour but not the consistency of blood. I wait for her to turn and tip the flowing liquid onto a tulip as tall as an elephant and the same colour too. The flower leans down and congratulates me on my hindsight. Startled, I leap back and fall over the pig. He squeals in indignation and I crack my head against the floor. I lie on my back, stunned, and stare up at the ceiling of the foyer. The ceiling is silver and appears to be shimmering. I continue to stare and see that it is the word ‘forever’ written over and over again until there is no space left to write it again. The woman in white lifts me up. She screams in pain because I forgot to when I fell. She seats me on an enormous bed and discusses my university options with me. I lean onto the purple pillows, embroidered with every possible colour of flower and pass out. The woman in white takes the things I collected from the waterfall and sits on the floor looking at them. I regain consciousness but I begin to bleed profusely from a cut on my forehead that was not there before. I stand up and feel nauseous. The things on the floor burst into flames and burn a hole through the floor. I fall down and down and down. My descent ends when I fall painfully through the sky. I land with a sickening crunch against the ground in the meadow where I started. Jorba bounds over to me and stares inquisitively into my face before saying ‘I told you so.’
I woke up and wondered why I had an Alice dream.
It seems to me that I’m not learning. I didn’t fear going down the rabbit hole but the dream (or maybe dreams) that came after. It is when we dream that we are vulnerable and I consistently forget to keep my guard up. Disappointing.