11 July, 2015

Sounds Like Peacock, Way Less Pretty

So fucking bitter. I received unpleasant news this week. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome. The radiologist knew almost straight away so I went into the appointment with my doctor a little better prepared for the news than I could have been. There's no real hard and fast treatment for PCOS, the only recommendation are androgens (hormone treatment) and a healthy lifestyle. So my GP told me to lose some weight. This is coming from the person who has been following my lifestyle choices for TWO YEARS. I haven't eaten full fat dairy in at least 18 months. Exercise and diet have only slowed down the rate at which I stack on weight like crazy. That's one of the many joyful benefits of PCOS. No matter what I do, no matter how healthy my meals are, or how often I exercise, my body refuses to stop storing everything as fat. I could live off salad and water, and by the end of the week I'll still have gained weight. PCOS occurs in approximately 20% of the female (sex but not gender) population who are of childbearing age. It is usually not picked up on until there are physical signs such as excessive acne, body hair or irregular periods so it is entirely possible that number is much higher due to undiagnosed cases. PCOS is also a potential factor as to the cause of my miscarriages as well as my anxiety and depression issues. Like fuck, why? Why you gotta ruin EVERYTHING. So frustrated that I actually cried. I try not to cry because hey, my lungs are still fucked from having pneumonia over a year ago and I'm actually not a fan of not being able to breathe. UGH.

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