Home again, home again.

It's been a LONG time since I stopped in at Lemons. High school has been keeping me busy. It's nothing like I expected. Essentially, yes. There are teachers and students and classrooms and bathrooms that smell like menthol cigarettes but it's still not what my brain was preparing me for.
The tiredness is worst. I can get up at 7.30 after going to bed past midnight no problems but that isn't how I'm tired. I've found that I'm tired as I work. Take today for instance. I was concentrating on my History SAC, focusing so hard on the right answer that I had moments where I felt the need to faint. I was honestly surprised when I reached the end of the SAC and was still conscious. I also feel more of the 'over it' kind of tired rather than the 'sleepy' kind. The thought of putting up with the bitchiness and the perfectionism for even one more day puts me in a rut the size of the Great Wall of China.
I can't stand the girls. They're so set in their ways. We have to sit in the same places, eat in the same places, cook at the same work bench in Food Tech, take study periods in the same layout. We have to treat our teachers a certain way (usually badly) and because I have my own rules, my own priorities I become the bitch. I am The Scapegoat.
I'm too old to 'get' them, too young to be any other adult. I'm the one who ends up losing every battle because I am not the same. They think I don't care what they say or believe about me but I do. I hate being 'special' or 'different' or a 'freak'. I want to be Amy, head down and unnoticed. Better yet, Terreur with her head down and UNKNOWN.
"One more week" I tell myself. "One more week then two off. You won't have to see any one. You won't have to talk to anyone. You can hide and cry to your heart's content. One more week."
Sooner, if I really want to lose.